Subject
it
Object
it
Possessive
its
Possessive (alone)
its
Reflexive
itself
Said like:
Some people ask to be called it. Not as a joke and not as a put-down: as their pronoun. It is at the door. Give it the keys. Its coat is on the chair. The grammar is the one you already know.
The word carries history. It has been used to strip trans and non-binary people of personhood, and Wiktionary still lists that derogatory use alongside the chosen one. That is why it/its is the one set you never guess. You use it only when the person has told you to, and then you use it without flinching.
In a sentence
It said it would meet us at the station.
I gave it the spare key and its face lit up.
Its bike is the green one; the helmet is its as well, and it built the bike itself.
How to use them
- Verbs stay singular: it is, it was, it has. Nothing changes from ordinary use.
- It is both subject and object. Its covers both possessives, with no apostrophe, ever. Itself is the reflexive.
- Never default to it. Not for a stranger, not for someone whose pronouns you do not know, not as a workaround. Only for a person who has said so.
- If you slip and say they, correct to it and continue. If someone else uses it as an insult about a person who has not chosen it, that is not a pronoun; treat it as the slur it is.
- Capitalised at the start of a sentence like any word, lowercase elsewhere.
Ways to practise
- Say a kind sentence about the person using it, out loud, until the word stops sounding cold. That reaction is yours to work through, not theirs.
- Write three lines about the person's week using it, its and itself. Read them back. Notice whether you softened anything.
- If you write about the person for others, add one plain line: "X uses it/its pronouns." It saves a dozen confused replies.
Where it came from
Not a coinage. The word is ordinary English, and its use as a chosen personal pronoun is a reclaiming rather than an invention. Wiktionary records both the offensive use and the chosen one; Pronouns.page notes that using it for someone who asked is respectful precisely because they asked. No date or person is on record for the practice.
Who uses them
Identities whose pages mention this set. A pronoun never tells you what someone is — this is only where the word turns up.
Questions people ask
Isn't calling someone "it" dehumanising?
It is when it is done to someone. It is not when someone has chosen it. The difference is consent, the same difference as between a nickname a friend picked and one that was forced on them at school.
What if I really cannot bring myself to say it?
Say it anyway, briefly, and let the discomfort be yours. If the person has also listed another set, you may use that. If they have not, using a substitute you prefer is choosing your comfort over their name.