Overview
What paragender means.
Paragender describes standing beside a gender rather than fully inside it. Para- means near or beside. Most of a paragender person's gender sits in one place, but a part of it does not, and that remaining part is often not a second gender that can be named.
People use the word in two ways that don't fully agree. Some mean partial: mostly one gender, with a remainder that is blank or unnameable. Others mean adjacent: near a gender, standing next to it, never quite in it. Both usages are in active use and nobody arbitrates between them.
It is a rare word, coined online in the 2010s, used by a small number of people, with no research behind it and no settled definition. The feeling it points at — a small, permanent gap between the gender someone is read as and the gender they are — is far more common than the word itself, and most people who live with that gap never go looking for a term for it.
Similar to demigender but with a stronger connection to the base gender while still having another component.
Paragender in one line
Origin
Where the word comes from
Paragender is credited on several MOGAI-tradition wikis to the Tumblr user queerspike, who is recorded as coining it on 11 July 2014. The prefix para- comes from the Greek for 'beside' or 'near', and the original definition described it as 'a gender that is very near but not quite another gender' — for example, a paragirl being vaguely a girl but not quite one. It has also been used as an umbrella for other 'para-' prefixed terms.
- Coined by
- queerspike (Tumblr)
- First recorded
- 2014-07-11
- Where
- Tumblr
Signs people describe
Common experiences
None of these is a test. Most people recognise a few and shrug at the rest.
Ticking a box on a form doesn't feel like lying — it feels like rounding.
When someone calls you a woman, or a man, you don't flinch.
You notice a small gap and carry on.
The bigger labels each felt slightly too much: non-binary felt like overclaiming, agender wasn't it either, because something is definitely there.
You can say what you mostly are.
You can't say what the rest is, and people find that unsatisfying.
You feel it most in gendered rooms — hen nights, changing rooms, 'right, ladies' — less like pain, more like a step everyone else took and you didn't.
Correcting people feels disproportionate: the gap is real and small, so explaining it usually costs more than it fixes.
You weren't looking for a new gender.
You were looking for a word for the leftover bit.
Pronouns
Pronouns
Most people who use this word use the pronouns that match the gender they sit beside — he, she, or they. Some use two sets and let people pick; some switch by room. Plenty change nothing at all, because the gap is internal and doesn't need to be audible. There is no pronoun that comes bundled with the word.
Consider another path
This might not be your word if…
- 1You feel fully your gender and simply dislike what people expect of it — that's a conflict with gender roles, not a partial gender.
- 2Your gender moves — more some days, less others, gone entirely sometimes — that's genderflux or genderfluid, which will serve you better.
- 3There are two full genders in there, both nameable — look at bigender.
- 4There is nothing in there at all — look at agender.
- 5'Demigirl' or 'demiboy' says it exactly for you — those words are clearer, better known, and easier to explain.
Close by
Related identities
Demigender
The umbrella above this one: a partial connection to a gender. Better documented and easier to explain; in most usages paragender sits underneath it.
ReadDemigirl
Names which gender you are partly connected to. If 'mostly a girl, partly not' is exact for you, demigirl says it more clearly and to more people.
ReadDemiboy
Same shape on the other side — mostly a boy, partly not. If it fits cleanly, it costs far less to say than paragender.
Read
Agender
No gender there at all, rather than most of one. If you keep finding nothing when you look inward, this is the closer word.
Read
Genderflux
The intensity of your gender rises and falls over days or weeks. Paragender is usually a steady partial; if yours moves, flux fits better.
Read
Bigender
Two full genders, not a majority plus an unnamed remainder. The difference is whether the second part has a name and shape, or is just absence.
ReadQuestions people ask
Frequently asked questions
Is paragender the same as demigender?+
Close, and often used as if identical. Demigender is the older, better-documented umbrella term for a partial connection to a gender. Paragender is one term underneath it, with less agreement about where its edges are. If choosing between them, demigender will be understood by more people.
Who coined paragender, and when?+
It is credited to the Tumblr user queerspike, on 11 July 2014, built from the Greek prefix para-, meaning beside or near.
Is there a paragender flag?+
Not a single settled one. Designs get posted on gender wikis and reblogged, but none has the recognition the demigender or demigirl and demiboy flags have. Many people who use this word fly a demigender-family flag instead.
Am I trans if I am paragender?+
By the broad definition — not entirely the gender assigned at birth — yes, it falls under the trans umbrella. Many people who use this word don't call themselves trans, and that's a valid choice either way.
Can I use this if I don't have dysphoria?+
Yes. Dysphoria isn't an entry requirement for a label. It's a requirement for certain medical pathways in certain countries, which is a separate question from whether a word describes you.
The flag
Several paragender flag designs circulate on gender wikis, including versions attributed to pridearchive and to the Twitter user strwbryfemme, but none has settled community adoption or clearly verified hex codes, so no flag is printed here as definitive.
Sources
- Paragender — MOGAI Wiki (Miraheze) Coiner (queerspike), coining date (11 July 2014), and etymology from Greek para-. Fetched 2026-09-06.
- Paragender — LGBTQIA+ Wiki Notes on the two competing definitions (partial vs. adjacent) and flag designs. Fetched 2026-09-06.
Still figuring things out?
Twenty questions, four minutes, and a few words worth trying on.